My Birth (part 1)

It was the 26th of January 1992, 1.28pm. Those were simple times, I would just spend all my days and nights relaxing in my mothers womb. I was well fed and watered, had no expectations forced upon me and whenever my mum pissed me off I could kick her in the stomach. With absolutely no comeuppance, just acknowledgement  "Oooo the babies kicking". I would spend entire weeks pondering as to whether or not zombies could be biochemically created, and if they were would we as a society see them as sick people in drastic need of a cure, or as bloodthirsty dead people. And how can I have such an elaborate thought process, when I have zero life experience.

Yep, all was well in the womb (which I would oftenly refer to as moist cushion land). Until, from outside of my mothers comfy innards, I heard an unfamiliar voice yell the word that still strikes fear in my heart. The word that prevents me from being emotionally capable of walking through 50% of the sides of a door.
"PUSH!"

I had recently felt some discomfort, the walls surrounding me would close in and then retract, this was gradually happening more and more often. I would slip down a bit, but I managed to climb my way back up. But then came The Gloved Hand. I had heard whispered stories of this foul creature from other unborns at pre-natal classes. A beast with oily blue, snake like skin and a grip that could crush a tin can. The beast was said to be at the command of a devil like human with dark eyes and cloth for a face. "The five pronged snake beast takes unborns from the comfort of their home. He takes them to a place where they are subject to the cold and a lifetime of torture". If only these were just tales.

 The Gloved Hand reached deep inside and gripped tightly around the crown of my head. The pressure on my infantile brain was almost too much to bare. It began to pull me away. I instinctively reached for anything that I could hold onto. Kidneys, intestines, a lung, I didnt care how much damage I caused, it was a last ditch effort at survival. Luckily, only milliseconds before I was dragged into the abyss, the vaginal wall closed on my face, like an automatic door with a poor judgement of timing. The Gloved Hand lost its grip for a split second and I managed to grab onto my umbilical cord and hoist myself back up.

I had won, I had defeated the Five Pronged Snake Demon................ or so I thought.


Part 2. Coming on 18/08/12