Interview of the Dead with Daron Cruickshank

Through the magic of twitter, I have been able to get an interview with 'The International Superstar'.

UFC fighter, TUF 15 competitor, Taekwondo Black Belt, Zombie survival expert and allround badass, Daron Cruickshank.

Daron is currently in the process of creating a zombie survival guide web series. Checkout http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtmQGI9A29w

Q. Which Martial style do you think would apply best in a zombie apocalypse?

A. I would have to say that the Jeet Kune Do way of fighting is the best, because it uses what works at the time. Be like water, flow. 

Q.  Best household items to use when fighting off the zombie hordes (and why?) 

A. Anything that is handy works as long as you can hit them with enough power to smash their head into pieces. I am a big fan of the frying pan if I'm in the kitchen. If I'm in the yard I'll just pick up a brick from the walkway path, or a hammer from the barn. The key is to make whatever you can get your hands on work for you. You're the tool, that makes it work. 

Q. Have you got any preparations planned in case of a Zombie apocalypse? 

A. I keep lots of coffee and energy drinks in the house. I also have an escape plan out of my house and my Bronco is filled with everything I need to take out Zombies and stay alive.

Q. What is your favourite Zombie film?

A. That's easy Zombieland, I like the concept of the rules and how they show them.

Q.  If you could recruit 4 MMA fighters to join your Zombie apocalypse survivalist group, who would they be? 
A. Dan Severn, because he is a Michigan man and has seen it all.
      Randy Couture has also seen it all and is a military guy.

Mendes (left) Faber (right)

     Chad Mendes because he is a hunter, when that guy is not training, he is out in the woods hunting.
     Randy Couture has also seen it all and is a military guy.
     I'd also take Urijah Faber, because he has a great positive attitude, when it comes to life.

Q. Best Martial Arts Technique to use against a Zombie?
A. I'm a big fan of the jump spin hook kick, it has so much force that it could take a head clean off.

Q. How do you believe a Zombie outbreak would begin?
A. I think it would start by Mad Cow turning into Mad Pig and everyone loves bacon, then there will be Mad Humans = Zombies.

Q. On another note. You was scheduled to fight Henry Martinez at UFC 151, what are your feelings on the scrapping of the card?
A. It Sucks, but I am still thankful to be in the UFC and to have a job doing something that I love. Fights change all the time, it's part of the sport. As a fighter you have to be Mentally flexible.


Q. Where and when, can we see your Zombie survival guide?
A. Keep a look out on Twitter @Cruickshank155 (https://twitter.com/Cruickshank155), I will post it soon, still testing ideas.

The Duck < Bread Debate

Who decided that ducks eat bread?

As I'm sure you're all aware, bread is not indigenous to ponds. There is not one recorded bread hunt where a bunch of ducks stalk a loaf of Hovis. There is not one natural history documentary, in which David Attenborough perches on an island in the middle of a duck pond while dressed as shrubbery, speaking on bread breeding patterns. With analysis of how "the common White Bread male is able to detach some of its body parts, known as slices, in order to confuse the feathered beast that is preying upon them.

I believe that thirty odd years ago, parks and ponds became a hotspot for teenage mating rituals. Teenagers would bring a variety of picnic foods to the duck pond, throw some cheese and pickle sandwiches to the ducks, before creeping into the bushes to fornicate. Then some kind of recession took place, where the teenagers would have to all chip in to buy one loaf of bread. The teenagers would get lectured by their parents, "I don't get kids these days and their "Duck Feeding", in my day we let the ducks fend for themselves". Unknowing to them 'Duck Feeding' would soon become a popular past time, that these teenagers passed on to their children. The phrases "Let's go feed the ducks" and "Do you want to go feed the ducks?", became prevalent in British culture. All along the British isles people came out in droves to go 'Duck Feeding'.

Until 'Duck Feeding' became outlawed. Councils began cracking down on 'Duck Feeders', putting up signs telling 'Duck Feeders' to stop 'Duck Feeding' and issuing small fines. This put the 'Duck Feeding' community in disarray and soon the DFA (Duck Feeding Association) disbanded. However small pockets of underground 'Duck Feeders' still exist today and have been known to 'Duck Feed' under the cover of darkness.

Disclaimer - This is just my theory. I could probably just google the original roots of 'Duck Feeding', but I'm sure it wouldn't be as intriguing as the story that I just made up. 

The Shocking Truth

Feeding ducks bread can actually harm them. A carbohydrate heavy diet can cause excessive weight gain and malnutrition in both ducks and their ducklings, thus making it difficult for them to fly and evade predators. Also leftover mouldy bread can cause something called 'Aspergillosis', a fatal lung infection that can kill entire duck flocks. It is also a little known fact that ducks are very territorial and will set up their territory where there is an abundant food source. Duck gangs have been known to literally fight to the death to obtain or retain their territory.

Should 'Duck Feeding' be allowed as a form of entertainment?
Should the Police crackdown on these underground 'Duck Feeders'?
Does anyone care?

 In Memory Of

Timothy Darlington

08/02/08 - 15/09/12

Shot dead by police, while defending his right to engage in 'Duck Feeding'